Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
wanna go halves on a baby?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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