Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
