we're blogging at a bar
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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