A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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