Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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