You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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