At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
