How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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