Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's never too late to be topless.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
