are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
