There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
