I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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