Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
