I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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