my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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