So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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