Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
