she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
