I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
