I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I will pee on everything he values.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
