Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It was confusing and full of hummus
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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