Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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