k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
