I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
