Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
