She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
