The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
