I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
