At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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