He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
