you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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