I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize