the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
