Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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