I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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