I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
