matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
