Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
