i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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