dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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