Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
