Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
