I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
