Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
