The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
