I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
