I can feel you judging me through the phone.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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