yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
