Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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