she was so not down for the gang bang
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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