I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize