If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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