She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
