I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my being single is dangerous.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
