Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
