What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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