but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
