Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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