She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
