A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize