in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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