As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You pole danced in your parka.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
