If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
