Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
