If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
